Thursday, September 28, 2006

mushy on stewart

Pervez Musharraf on the Daily Show. The daily show with Jon Stewart is one of my favorite news (fake news) shows ever...Jon Stewart is a brilliant guy...and Musharraf comes across as rather smart in this interview. Definitely more so than Bush does!




Heres another, very gross and funny one with Ed Helms about speedos ;)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krlPmQzqJ08

i can't embed it, but its awesome and worth the click.

Monday, September 11, 2006

quarter life crisis

heres a paste from a link my friend sent me:
http://www.cds.caltech.edu/~shane/text/quarterlifecrisis.html

The Quarter-Life Crisis
by unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
i read this and was like wow, this is exactly what im going through right now. What do you guys think?

Thursday, August 31, 2006

birthday and chameleons

I'm going to try to keep this post lighter. As much as the past couple of weeks have been full of turmoil, I think i'm going to get out of this one as always...i'm such a slippery snake. Always escaping the downward spiral at the last minute ;)

Yesterday was my birthday. As sad as I was about spending it alone in Chicago, I was pleasantly surprised by the number of people who called me and wished me. Started off with Vaibhavi (when I was sleeping), my dear friend Kedar, and then the ever lovable Sandyboy and after that it kept coming. I have one particular friend who did NOT call me on purpose because I had not called him on his bday, although I had bought him his gift nearly 2 weeks before his birthday and had given it to him in person...hmph! you know who you are. Later on, my team took me out to dinner to a Tapas place (which a colleague thought was going to be a topless place...hehe, till I clarified for him). The waitress got out a complimentary profiterole with a candle and everyone wished me, and we took some really cute pictures. And two of the people in my team who I really look up to were extremely complimentary of my work and skills which really boosted my morale significantly. Thanks David and Oliver. And thanks for the kiss Jeanie ;)

Later, David and Max (same work colleagues) and I took off to a Hookah bar. We told the cabbie to take us to a Hookah bar and he looked at us like we were freaks. He said I know where you want to go, and he took us to a seedy looking joint. We got out, and it turns out, he'd taken us to a "Hooker" bar! lol. So after more deviations, we finally landed up in a place where we were the oldest people around. It was poignant, for me to feel overage on my birthday ;) An hour ago at dinner I was being teased for being so young. Now, I was feeling old. 26...mid twenties! oh the suffering!

As we talked about consultants and made jokes about how people had said to us that consultants are the most boring people in the world, we started talking about how our jobs are so unique, because we have to kind of push our own agenda, be smart and informed to justify our expense, yet fit into any corporate style we are pushed into. We can't afford to not fit in. I coined a new term for us that night. Corporate Chameleons. Thats exactly what consultants are. For some reason, it reminded me of this story about Parsis who first came to India and the then emperor sent them a jar full of milk, indicating that there was no more space for a whole new sect of people to live in his kingdom. The parsis sent the milk back, sweetened with sugar to show that they would not really require more space and that they would not only be unobtrusive, but also sweeten their lives. I'd say they kept their word very well indeed.

I'm rambling on. Hopefully this makes up for my previous post. Heres my KANK review for those who haven't read it...rediff chose it as a top 10 review and made me a part of their reviewers group. Finally! my work gets appreciated ;)
http://ia.rediff.com/movies/2006/aug/23kank.htm?q=mbp&file=.htm

More later...love and peace.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

return

"i'm going to be all alone in New York", he said. Preparing for his move to the big apple, Matt was kind of nervous and excited about going to grad school. "I know it sounds exciting and all, but I know what I'm gonna do, i'm mostly just gonna stay in my room and read. I'm gonna be all isolated". Sam nodded, giving him a sympathetic expression. It was one of those non commital expressions that to Matt meant that Sam understood. In reality, Sam didn't know if Matt was just being naive, or fooling himself. No one goes to a big city for the first time when they are 23 and stays alone. Definitely not fresh out of college. Matt was going to change. He was going to experience the crazed rush of people, the shaken cosmopolitan awkwardness that comes with a constant invasion of personal space, the frustration of being surrounded by humans and the claustrophobia caused by millions desperately fighting for every bit of unoccupied space. Sam loved the idea, as brutal as it sounded. He had grown up in a city much like NY. He loved the 'in your face' ritual that people in cities like New York were accustomed to. The kind of feeling that makes you feel intense relief when you go home and get a moment to yourself. He felt stagnant in a typical American city.

Which is not to say Sam didn't feel like Matt could be alone in the city. Of course it was possible to be alone. Sam knew what it was like. Sam knew how it felt to be surrounded by people and noises and smells and sounds and still feel isolated. He wondered if it was only he who felt this way. Nah, too self absorbed, he thought dismissively. I'm just like everyone else. Average, not unique. A thought that was as comforting as it was depressing. Yet Sam didn't really feel similar to everyone else. He kept trying to surround himself with the people he considered his own, the people with whom he felt most comfortable. The ones around which he didn't have to put on an accent with. That accent that made his jaw hurt and still didn't sound right. The ones with whom he could be himself. Still, sometimes it felt like he was just trying to hold on. Hold on more and more to the edge of a cliff that was crumbling away. Soon there would be nothing but a chasm. And a chasm wouldn't be too bad. Not too bad at all.

He was getting sick of flesh. Clumsy, clumsy flesh. Flesh with its blushes and pimples and erections and hunger and thirsts and wants and needs. All these people, all of them, all they did was talk to his flesh. They didn't talk to him. All they saw, all they even needed to see was the tangible. They didn't care abt anything else. 'Whats wrong with me?', he thought. No one thinks this way. No one? Or was that self absorbed too? New York was great. At least I can be all alone, surrounded by people, no one looking at me, a rush of beings giving me a warm blanket of anonymity...another random person from a random place doing random things. Just another soul in a city full of souls. And when I did need contact...theres always someone around. Yes, NY would be perfect...till it wore him down.

"You know Matt....i'm really gonna miss you", Sam said, in that way only he could. The way he could say the most true, deep, heartfelt thing to someone without flinching twice. He felt a lump in his throat. His heart felt like it was going to melt. He felt a rush of intense love and sadness at the same time. It scared him, his ability to feel so strongly. Matt looked at him intently for a moment. Then, he smirked in a sympathetic, understanding way. Sam knew then, exactly how Matt felt. He'd done the same thing just a few moments before.

-sam i am

Friday, April 07, 2006

apprail and xxx-commerce

another long hiatus. I've been travelling to NYC for a while now. Its been good times. I've been through how much I love the city already and yes, i still love it. Living at the Hilton near fifth ave hasn't been too bad either ;) Not sure i'd be able to live there anymore, but I love visiting. I spent a lot of time meeting old friends. Dinner at a cute Indian restaurant called "Ammas" with my friend Puja. (the amma on the menu wasn't very nice looking at all, looked downright saans bhi kabhi bahu thi bitchy). but the food was excellent. Highlight of the evening was when she told me about her friend whos surname was "Seksaria" (a surname i'd never heard before)

Then, theres what has got to be my fave chinese restaurant in the US so far, Our Place Shanghai Tea Garden (http://ourplace-teagarden.com/) Silly name aside, the food was as close to Indian chinese as possible without being Indian chinese and it was yummy. Its my fave quick eat haunt on the East Midtown side.

Besides food, I had the opportunity to check out Tsotsi, which was great. it won the best foreign film award and it was good. Not sure it deserved the best foreign film award, but you've heard my spiel on the Oscars. I saw Paradise now too which was excellent, also not an amazing movie, but the reason it didn't win was probably because it came out looking so pro-Palestine in the end.

My brand new 50" Sony SXRD tv is here and its a beauut :) I love the HD reception, the brilliant DVD playback thanks to my new DVD player and watching movies is a treat now. I feel guilty :)

Last, http://www.sexpacking.com (not work safe). Download instead of view online, is my recommendation. It is truly a novel and bizarre idea.

hope all is well everywhere...more soon.

Monday, March 06, 2006

the oscars and more mumbai

i guess you guys remember me masturbating all over crash months ago when i saw the movie. Am i pleased it won? not in the least. Why? Crash is a great movie, don't get me wrong. But this stinks. It stinks of conservatism in Oscar voting. Of studio campaigning, of fear of making a statement, of worshipping mediocrity. Crash, was easily the easiest, safest choice for the Oscars. Remember, when Crash came out, none of the other contenders had been released. Munich, Good night and Good luck and Brokeback Mountain were all infinitely superior films.

Yes, I capitulated. I liked Crash, but its such formulaic Oscar fodder. Its such a "ooh i'm making a hard hitting drama abt racism acclaim me!" kind of film. And its so manipulative. No way in hell so many interconnected tales with heart breaking stories about immigrants and mixed race communities could tie together so neatly. Why couldn't Haggis have picked the Matt Dillon, Terence Howard, Thandie Newton plot and made that into a movie? Would have been so much better. Ultimately, Crash was a watered down choice, a movie that won't be remembered for too long. Definitely not in a year where people made films like Constant Gardener, Good Night and Good Luck, Syriana, Brokeback and yes, even Munich, as flawed as it was. In a perfect world, Best Original Screenplay would have been The Squid and the Whale. Cinematography? The New World. Editing? Constant Gardener. Visual Effects? Revenge of the Sith and Hustle and Flow would have won more than best original song.

I miss Mumbai. I'm in NYC right now and its amazing. At this point of my life, i feel like my heart is in two places, Mumbai and NY. Both the cities are similar and different to each other to make me want to be in both places at once. I can't believe its been a month since i returned today. Is it that much to ask to be able to live happily in the city of your dreams? Life ain't that forgiving though. Oh well, some day.

too tired to write more. Will continue soon. Sorry for procrastinating Joya.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

l'experience mumbai

ahhh so much to write about. I had an amazing trip back to the motherland. So...what i'm gonna do is write lil stories about some of my experiences in no particular order. For some reason i feel compelled to write about a particular notary I had to go to....to get something notarized. To protect his privacy, we shall refer to him as Mr. S. Here goes.

It was a day before I was leaving Mumbai and returning to Atlanta. I was dreading the end of my vacation. When you've been looking forward to something for several months and its almost over...it feels like you have nothing to look forward to. I was supposed to get some legal letter notarized. It was a saturday and my dad and I luckily managed to find a notary nearby who was willing to do it for us at 9 pm saturday evening. After my last meeting with my friends, I got into a rickshaw and found my dad waiting for me under the notary's apartment building.

Climbing up the starcase of a typical Santacruz(w) apartment building in its desperate middleclassness (if that even is a word), I suddenly felt a rush of nostalgia. It felt like all those apartment buildings i'd visited all my life. My friends houses, my own. I felt curious about this Mr. S and wondered if he was a rich man or not. An apartment in Santacruz does not necessarily imply wealth, but the way the city has been growing, its not really cheap either. Middle class in Mumbai is wealthy in the rest of the country, thats for sure. We rang the doorbell, a decidely mundane doorbell and waited. Almost immediately the door opened to a portly short man with slightly oily long hair. A pleasant face, not happy nor sad, one of those quiet looking men who have no particular expression of joy or disdain on their face to see someone new. This wasn't a man who would smile at a stranger, rather this was the kind of man who wouldn't react to much at all, always maintaining his calm demeanor in most circumstances. For a second I wondered if this guy was upset at us arriving at such a late hour. His notice board DID say that he was open for notarizing documents from 7 pm to 9 pm, and we had arrived at 9 pm sharp. Perhaps he was pissed.

As he invited us in, I took a little whiff of the air in his apartment bracing myself for odd smells of food, particularly at dinner time. Strangely enough, there was no smell whatsoever. Living in America had made my nose particularly sensitive to smells (although America has its own set of foreign odors, especially to new immigrants who aren't familiar with them). The flat itself was the epitome of boredom. Old, decrepit furniture. Lots of stuff, crammed into every available nook and cranny, boring brown/beige colors on the wall, on the sheets, everywhere. We sat on a dining table right next to the door and I looked around, while Mister S brought out all his notarizing apparatus. A Godrej FrostFree refrigerator was the biggest eyecatcher in the living room. Right next to it was a high shelf with an LG tv perched atop it. I felt instantly depressed. How could someone live here? Someone sure did, and that someone didn't seem to unhappy with his circumstances. I found myself wondering if a lawyer and a notary barely made enough money to make ends meet. As Mr. S sat down with all his stuff and my dad started small chat with him, I took a look at the stuff he had put on the table. A bunch of rubber stamps, seals, wet pads, legal stamps. For a second a childish excitement washed over me. How fun to be a notary! Imagine being all important, signing and witnessing important legal documents come into recognition, putting an official seal and legal stamps. So cool!

Mr. S pulled out his ledger, looked at our passports and continued the small chat, asking me little questions about what I do. It almost felt like he was quizzing me to make sure no illegal kora kagaz type fraud was going on. I felt nervous. Wait, why was I feeling nervous? There was nothing to hide, I wasn't doing anything wrong. Typical me. My inner schoolboy lives on. As he started writing in his ledger with neat, precise handwriting, which I admired, I wondered if it meant that this was the mark of a meticulous man who takes pride in his work. Or maybe all that handwriting analysis stuff was BS. Who knows. His fingers had rings on them. And I mean every finger had a giant gold ring. Each ring had a different color stone set in them. Looks like Mr. S really believes in the power of stones.

Before I knew it, he had signed stamped, sealed and gotten the both of us to sign the document. Hundred rupees, he said which my dad quickly handed over. My dad continued the small chat and he willingly participated, making little jokes about the Telgi stamps which apparently had more adhesive power than the legal stamps he had just used. While he was chatting his hand quietly opened the door to his house. Theres our cue. I nodded silently to my dad and we made our way out. Quietly we walked down and got into our rickshaw home. "Well, thats it", said my dad. "We've gotten all our work down. I guess this means I can take off to Pune tomorrow morning". I realised that this was probably the last bit of alone time I would have with my dad for a long time. I reach my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I wasn't expecting anything, my dad wasn't a particularly affectionate man. I felt my dad hug me back, hard. As his head rested on my shoulder, I felt a wave of understanding and realization. My parents had gotten so old. I relished the feeling of hugging my father. It hadn't happened very often. We both blinked back tears.